Parenting Disrespectful Teens

Do you have an disrespectful teengager? Anyone who has or has ever had a teenager has probably experienced painful disrespect. Sometimes their disrespectful actions become chronic and almost unbearable. What should a parent do when a teen is disrespectful?

Listening and understanding are effective ways of building a relationship. It is tempting to analyze or correct teens' bold and sometimes inaccurate statements. It is generally wiser to be understanding. For example, if a teen complains that they hate algebra, the instinctive reaction is to say, "Algebra is easy. I did it. You can do it." Such a response will probably make them feel inadequate and angry. On the other hand, we can respond to their complaint with "Algebra can be overwhelming, learning all those symbols and rules. It can be very confusing." When we show understanding it helps teens feel valued. It ultimately helps them better solve their own problems.

Some battles with disrespectful teenagers are not worth fighting. Highlighted hair, multiple earrings, or a wild shirt may be an expression of a teen's individuality. We are unwise to attack such things. However, there may are many times when it is wise to discuss teens' decisions with them: If your teenage daughter decides to pierce her tongue, you might say, "A tongue ring may seem very exciting to you. Other people might see it very differently. A doctor will see it as unhealthy. Many adults will see it as weird and inconvenient. What does it mean to you?" Sometimes just asking the right questions can help teens find their own answers.

Part of the difficulty of being a teen is the discovery that parents are not perfect. That realization can actually be turned in to an asset when teens see you as humble, still learning, and willing to find better ways to be a parent. Invite their suggestions. Discuss possibilities with them. Above all, show them that they are important to you.

Programs that Can Help Disrespectful Teens

Programs that help treat disrespectful teens include boarding schools, residential treatment centers, wilderness programs, and boot camps. Unfortnately disrespect is an all too common trait found in teenagers. Programs can help treat your teen's disrespect by helping him/her discover how to communicate in a more positive and effective way than acting out. A change in setting can also help a disrespectful teenager look at his/her life from a different perspective and can help mature thought processes.